this lovely site will take your english, translate it over and over, and make it suck. have fun.
"I ever tell you about the time Keith tried to deep fry a turkey? Third degree burns over ninety percent of his body. His doctor called up, like, other doctors to look at him cause they'd never seen burns on top of existing burns."
...10 translations later we get:
"I told you never to try to Keith and the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia to Turkey in the background? 90% third degree burns, his body. He urged doctors and other doctors are afraid to not see the fire burning the first place."